We’ve probably all heard both sides of the story ladies. Is it better to date a Bad Boy or a Nice Guy? After all Bad Boys are exciting, they know how create drama and rev up the emotions so that all you can do is keep thinking about him even though you know he’s somewhat of a jerk. However you also noticed that there’s this nice guy who keeps asking you out, he’s got a great job, he’s very polite, and as a matter of fact extremely friendly to almost everyone he knows, but you’re still not attracted to him.
And the worst part of it all ladies, is this- you may date bad boys in your life, and enjoy it, but have a sense of regret later on. BUT when someone does come along who seems great, who will take care of you for the rest of your life, who is a breath of fresh air, you decide that this man is still a better option than what you had before. So you jump on the opportunity before it’s too late.
Knowing truthfully that you’ve just cheated yourself out of the feeling the love that you want to feel for another person. And you know that feeling, you look at him, and you JUSTIFY with restraint in that little voice in your head why you love him. (He does listen and he does buy me things that I like, and he’s nice to my friends). Even though you can hear your heart scream “He’s not right for you!” Isn’t that so?
If you are looking for security, and you are looking for someone to take care of you, who is boring, who is predictable, and will always agree to what you say, then by all means continue to look for a nice guy and be in a relationship with him. But nice guys don’t make good LONG term partners. It’s already hard enough to be in a relationship, but ensuring that the magic of a relationship keeps going is even harder. So if you shouldn’t be dating a nice guy, then who should you be dating to maintain a healthy, loving and caring relationships with.
You’re looking for the nice guy with a razor edge. See, while a bad boy is doing things and only thinks of himself, a nice guy with an edge will think of you but he won’t sacrifice his core values and beliefs just to make you happy.
How do you know if you’re dating a nice guy versus a nice guy with a razor edge.
Here you can take a quiz to find out if you’re dating a “Nice Guy.”
1)Does this guy I’m dating always agree with what I’m saying and does not disagree with any of my opinions?
2)Does this guy I’m dating always ask me where do I want to go and what to do instead of taking charge of our dates?
3)Is this guy afraid and avoids conflict and diverts it somehow?
4)Do we tend to do the same things over and over again and he never makes suggestions to do anything new?
5)Does he tend to say nice things about me all the time, but doesn’t tease me once and give you a bit of a hard time for fun?
6)Has he recently bought me expensive gifts even though I know down deep inside I have not earned it?
7)Is he willing to adjust his schedule all the time to ensure that we meet up for our dates?
8)Is he afraid to tell me when I’m out of line, even though I know it’s my fault?
9)Does he apologize a lot for situations that are not in his control?
10) Does he stand up for his dream and goals even when I’m clearly not supportive of them?
Bonus Question: Does he simply do everything I want him to do because I ask?
If you answered yes to at least 7 of the questions then chances are you’re dating a nice guy and it’s not going to be the great romantic relationship you are looking for.
And here’s why, chances are this guy is a wuss and isn’t going to make you feel secure. On top of that nice guys are generally very manipulative underneath it all, they do what you say in hopes that you will somehow give them what they want. They focus on you and your needs only to truly fulfill their own need.
However a nice guy with a razor edge is different, he believes in himself, he’s confident and will respect you if you respect yourself.
The Razor Edge Guy is willing to be assertive and take charge. He’ll take you to restaurants and plan it out and pick you up, but he won’t keep asking you “What do you want to do” over the phone again and again, he’ll ask once and if you don’t know, he’ll take charge.
He values your opinion and respects it, but he also values his own and has no fear about sharing them but he doesn’t get overly defensive. However if you present your side very well, he’s not afraid to admit change.
He’s the type of person who sticks up for his dreams even if they do seem silly at times because he has ambition and doesn’t want to float around.
He’s the type of guy who will buy you gifts because you have earned the right for gifts because you have earned his affection through your personality. And you’re smitten with him with his personality so the gifts are extra special.
He doesn’t apologize when he knows he’s right, but he’s also the type that will apologize when he is wrong. He’s also the type that will tell you when your misbehaving badly and gently let you know without making you feel embarrassed.
He’s the type of guy that will not tolerate immaturity unless it’s to add to the fun of the relationship. He’s spontaneous and loves to tease you in a gentle way.
He’s willing to hurt your feelings a little if that means it makes you a better person, but he’s not harsh about it. He respects the rules that you have set up if he believes they are reasonable and is willing to compromise.
These are the really difficult guys to find, but they are out there and they make wonderful long term partners.
How do you exactly find these guys? You have to be brutally honest with yourself, are you willing to put the effort and commitment to look for these men to be in your life? Are you prepared to be the right woman for him when he does come along? And if you are, do you know how to communicate in a way that will attract only these types of men?
If you’re interested in learning more about what you can do to attract these men for relationships then feel free to contact Vincent Ng at 604 782 0801 or e-mail me at Vincent@conversationarts.com for some Personal Dating Coaching. The quality of your communication is the quality of your life.
To meet other singles check out http://www.meetup.com/luvhat
Article by Vincent Ng of Conversation Arts
