In the last few years I’ve had the privilege of dating, approaching and interviewing thousands of women about their perspectives on dating. And I’ve always found how interesting it is to see that some of the same patterns that come up again and again that leave women in the resort town of Single.
Some professional women I’ve met would naturally attract droves of men, not only because they were good looking but because they had learned to master the art of conversation in almost every aspect.
And some women who weren’t always the most attractive but were able to make almost all the men they talked to feel comfortable and adore them. These women had choice when it came to dating.
These women also understood men and were never afraid to use the power of words to be able to charm a man into madness.
Then there were other women who I would talk to, who I found physically attractive but who weren’t really interesting at all. As time went on in the conversation their physical beauty even dwindled and they just didn’t look so good anymore. Men realize beauty isn’t going to last forever, that’s why we want to know your personality is sexy too.
Sadly single professional women, many of them even years later are making horrible blunders in their conversation that are killing their first dates, and their potential to find someone special in their lives. It’s like making that same mistake in a job that prevents you from getting promoted.
How you act on your first date will set up a precedence on how your future relationship with a person will be like. The cautious will generally date the cautious, and the sexy and adventurous will find the sexy and adventurous. Regardless of what you’ve heard, opposites might attract, but opposites rarely ever last.
So what kind of conversation mistakes can you be making in your romantic life? in this blog entry I look at the “Top 4 Conversation Blunders Professional Women make During Dates.” Noticed carefully I said dates, it doesn’t matter if you’re on date 1 or date 1000. The principles still apply to you.
Mistake 4: You Don’t Have a Great Sense of Humour.
I know it seems obvious, but I run into a lot of women who don’t seem to have a sense of humour. They work all day in an environment that demands pressure. They have to spend the day being serious with clients and other colleagues. It can be tough to be playful at work because it could be seen as unprofessional. And with 8 hours spent at work, it can be hard to find time to dedicating to be funny.
But the great thing is that you can learn to be funny, if humour couldn’t be learned, how would comedians ever get better after being booed off stage.
There are always many ways to make a conversation playful and fun for you and him. And some ways I will guarantee make you more attractive and irresistible. But truthfully ladies, men don’t want to be with a women who can’t make him laugh either. Humour is sexy to us too.
Mistake 3: The Inability to Ask Stimulating Questions
What I personally find a huge turn on with women is their ability to ask stimulating questions that get to the heart of who I really am. These are questions that are more than my job, or cliche questions I’ve been asked two thousand times before.
A women who is smart knows how to ask questions that does two things.
- Gets him to reveal who he really is to you without you being too direct
- Questions that are smart that make him more attracted to you because he knows you’re not just anybody. You’re intelligent and original with your questions.
Mistake 2: Not having a Turning Point Attraction Story
It’s great that you’re asking questions but you also want the guy to know something about you as well from the date. Learning to tell a story that shows your humanity is extremely attractive. I have personally attracted women, and women have attracted me simply by sharing one story about themselves.
Stories also have a very specific structure that allows for people to be just mesmerized by your presence and to keep thinking about you long after a date. Learn to tell a great story about yourself and it will be a turning point in attracting him.
Mistake 1: Lack of Flirting
Let’s face it, if you’re not going to flirt with us guys on a date, then basically you’re my female friend. That’s right, even though he might find you attractive, you’ve told him a great story, you’re asking questions, you have to be able to flirt with him in a way that says you like him and you are attracted to him.
Of course there are ways to flirt that send the signal of sex and the signal of attraction, both styles are quite different. Make sure you know which one is which, but if you’re not a flirter, then chances are you’re not going to have the successful long term committed relationships you seek.
In the next blog I’ll talk about why purely nice guys make terrible long term partners for any romantic relationship.
For more information on Luvhat Dating Sevices you can contact Vincent Ng at 604 782 0801 or e-mail Vincent@covnersationarts.com
You can also join our singles group in Vancouver at http://www.meetup.com/luvhat
Article by Vincent Ng of Luvhat Dating Sevices
